Sound like a jerk?
He was her fiancé. This woman fell in love with this man after knowing him for about two months. Her family opposed the romance, but wanted to ensure Samar's happiness and gave in. There is a reason why families, particularly in the Middle East prefer arranged marriages over preconceived romances. Indian families also have the same sort of thinking; my parents had an arranged marriage. They believe that the relationship created after the marriage will grow with better intentions. Whenever I tell them about my happily-arranged-marriage-parents, they are astonished. I personally prefer the idea of a not-so-arranged marriage but I wonder how Samar is feeling...
Are romances too dangerous today? In the U.S., I feel that arranged marriages are nonexistent. The dating scene is rapidly changing; stalkers and online predators are terms being thrown around much too often today. Maybe we think that arranged marriages are outdated and too traditional. Do young people today have too much of an agenda to go through with a marriage?
Since moving into my grandparents' house in May, I have had a lot of time to study their relationship. My grandparents had an arranged marriage, just like your parents, whereas my parents married for love. It's an interesting thing to be able to compare and contrast the two in an environment as personal as my own home. My grandparents rarely seem to fight, and they have been married for over 50 years. My parents, on the other hand, divorced around five years ago. To say the least, my life is not exactly a campaign for a love-driven marriage. To tell you the truth though, I wish more people had arranged marriages nowadays than they do. While marrying for love seems like the more fun, more personal and more romantic alternative, I also believe that true love nowadays is hard to come upon, if not impossible. I realize it's a kind of depressing way to think, but taking from what I have been exposed to my whole life, at this point I'd rather have a husband last me 50 years than have to put myself and the people I care about through a divorce.
ReplyDeleteI never really thought about arranged marriages being better than true love but after this story I'd have to think twice. So many violences happen between husband and wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, partnerships, etc that I do wonder why people don't see issues with this.
ReplyDeleteI don't have any experience with arranged marriages and both my grandparents married for love, had inspiring stories about this love, and have done beautifully. Growing up there are always "true love" stories and I believed these, that there is someone for everyone. I feel with a non-arranged marriage people are more apt to go out and enjoy life, to explore the world in order to meet new people. This doesn't mean arranged marriages can't be wonderful but I do wonder, what happens with the arranged marriage goes wrong? Couldn't this "perfect" husband turn? Then again, so many people are obsessed with this "soul mate" idea they don't think twice about people they meet if they don't believe they are "meant to be"
This is very interesting. I really have not given arranged marriage much thought in any recent time, as it's largely not a part of American society. With your post and Ruchi's I'm better able to get more perspective on this custom I'm otherwise utterly clueless about.
ReplyDeleteYou certainly do have a point in that there is a certain level of trust and intention that can build a solid relationship with hard work and knowledge of one another. These are all important things for a relationship, as well as difficult to have if done more spontaneously, so I can see why arranged marriage would be preferred to some cultures. It's an entirely different approach to create those bonds, which is interesting, and considering the large amount of failure of marriages now, arranged marriage appears a reasonable choice. Perhaps the way many Americans envision it when they hear the words "arranged marriage" due to things in our environment or media could be a large contributor to its lack of popularity. It doesn't resonate well with me for whatever reason.
Sarah,
ReplyDeleteNice job here and throughout your blog. I like the passion in your voice as you dissect these "crimes of passion." It'd nice to explore the U.S. angle a little further (this is AiS, afterall!). Don't settle for "I feel...." statements there. (My wife's family has a couple of arranged marriages with spouses from Greece). Last, since this was your first post, what would you do differently now than you did as a neophyte blogger?
Overall, good job!